Last week on the Wednesday morning during the worst snow in over 20 years. 2 scals meet up getting the train to whiston (a mile down the road)
Scal 1- Lad, have you got on to the snow lad
Scal 2- Yeah lad, seen it, boss innit’
Scal 1- Tellin ya lad
Scal 2- Do you reckon it’ll be like this in Whiston lad
Scal 1- Defo lad
If they didn’t exist you’d have to invent them.
was walking through town and a lad shouted “ay girl get ya snickers off”
Went to see the physio yesterday and asked him how many people worked there.
He said ‘about half of us.’
Nearly did me fuckin’ back in again.
13 year-old boy goes to the counter at Maccies and says to a girl on the counter ‘gis ye number.’
Girl’s friend says ‘don’t think so mate.’
Young boy says ‘I wern’t asking you u ugly bastard.’
lol 
“He got his bell end caught in a garden roller” shit what happened ed?:
“Nothin it just squeezed it” funniest quote I’ve heard someones dad say in ages.
While going for the paper I saw an oldish lady struggling on the ice and she said to me they should have all the doleys out with shovels clearing the ice up instead of sitting on their arses.
A friend who doesn’t come from Liverpool goes on a night out in beige chinos, random 16 year old comes up to him and says:
“Beige? beige?!? you’re wearin fuckin’ beige?! You’re either a medic or a tory….you twat”
Two porters talking to one another, one is fuming:
“What do ya mean you’ve never ‘ad a ham an cheese toasty? What sorta fuckin scouser are ya!?”
Walking past four lads with my girlfriend, one turned round and said
“aye lad, I smashed your bird up the shitter”
