Don’t Tell Anyone
I saw this car the other day and it was plastered in advertising:
LOSE WEIGHT NOW
LOSE WEIGHT FAST
EASY WEIGHT-LOSS SYSTEM
WATCH THE FLAB FALL OFF
At the back of the car in small lettering it said ‘Discreet Service’.
In Queens Square
Drunk man at Queens square: Oi you! Stupid lad! Stupid lad! Oi!
Bloke: Are you talking to me?
Drunk man: Yeah soft lad! How are you Jake, how was your weekend?!
Bloke: What?
Drunk man: Oh sorry. I don’t know you do I? Sorry.
Overheard by Hannah
In a meeting
Liverpool supporter forced to attend a meeting during the 2nd leg of Chelsea v Liverpool.
“I’m tellin’ ya now if it gets to 2 nil, I’m off!”
Cut Short
I overheard this last year in the hairdressers.
Girl: ‘Are you going anywhere nice for your holidays?
Fella: ‘Yeah, I’m going to Guantanamo Bay.’
Girl: ‘Ooh, that’ll be nice. Will there be any other smart arses there?
Well Flakey
New Brighton ice cream van.
Woman asks for a ninety-nine. The ice cream man says ‘It’ll have to be a ninety-eight.’
The woman asks what a ninety-eight is. The ice cream man says ‘It’s just an ice cream, luv, I’ve run out of Flakes.’
In The Heat Of The Night
Sefton Park at about 2.00am and a drunken argument is thankfully coming to a close.
Lad ‘You think you’re miss fuckin’ world.’
Girl ‘You said I was your world.’
Lad ‘I was pissed when I said that.’
Girl ‘You’re pissed now.’
Lad ‘Not as pissed as I was that night.’
