Woof!
In Town at the weekend. Two guys stood at the bar.
1. That new barmaid’s nice
2. Yeah but she’s got a sheepdog bra on.
1. Yer what?
2. You know, it rounds them up and points them in the right direction.
At the Office
My mate at work was on the phone the other day. A caller phoned in.
Caller: I want to speak to the owner Please.
My mate: There’s no one called Fiona here.
Admin
It’s been an amazing Spring day in Liverpool.
Did some work on the Site, with a new development that will enable unsigned Liverpool bands to upload music to the Site.
We’ll keep you posted. Enjoy the sun. OIL admin.
On Bank Holiday Monday
Drunk couple couple getting into a cab.
Fella: Bloody ell girl you’ve ad a right skinful today avint yer.
Girl: Fuckoff
Cavern walks
Lad. ‘Hey girl, show us yer knickers.’
Girl. ‘Yeah, when you’ve stopped playing with your Lego, lad.’
At the park
Very young girl ‘They’re big ducks aren’t they, mum?’
‘They are, luv, they’re called swans.’
On the phone
Girl on mobile phone having a heated discussion with the person on the other end.
Well ok, you go away and have a think about what I’ve said, and I’ll go away and do nothing.
