In Starsucks
Brother and sister meet up for a coffee.
Sister: I really like your shirt, Paul, is it new?
Brother: No Alison, it was a Christmas present off some dozy girl.
Sister: That’s not very nice! who was it?
Brother: You!
Social Network Merger!
I caught this gem on the Liverpool to Wigan train.
‘I can give you my e-mail or you can contact me on My Face.’
Post from Hannah
Phone call between my two mates. They were trying to meet at a pre-arranged location.
1. ‘Look, it’s really busy, you’re better off parking in a parallel street.’
2. ‘Whereabouts is parallel street?’
Heard by John
“You can have a ham and cheese toastie, or the vegetarian special”
“Whats the vegetarian special?”
“A Cheese toastie, but you could have the vegan special if you want it”
“Whats That?”
“Toast”
Heard by Laura
Overheard in the towney
1st Woman: hiya love, you alright?
2nd Woman: yeah you?
1st woman: did you hear about poor Hilda……. she died!!!
Love Story?
Showcase cinema on East Lancs Road.
Film just started.
‘Get yer hands off me tits, now!’
Overheard by Darren
Last night in a Chinese restaurant. Very pissed group of lads.
Waiter: ‘What do you want?’
Lad: ‘Just a kebab, lad, and a pint of lager.’
Waiter: ‘No kebab, no kebab. Only Chinese.
Lad: ‘Can yer do us a Chinese kebab?’
Post by Sue
Teacher trying to locate an MP3 on a laptop.
Young Lad: ‘In your time, Miss, it used to be CD’s didn’t it?’
Teacher (laughing): ‘Are CD’s over now?’
Yound lad: ‘Yeah, well-over, Miss.’
Port of Liverpool Building
Coming out of a pointless meeting the other day.
1. ‘What did you get from that?’
2. ‘A glass of water, and a pen.’
