Overheard by Beckie

On the Liverpool to Chester train. 2 smack ‘eads get on at Lime Street, with cans of Skol Extra Strength!!

Girl smack ‘ead: Shit!!! Were on the wrong train!!

Fella smack ‘ead: No were not! Trust me! This train goes to Bebbington!!

Girl smack ‘ead: No it doesnt!!!

Fella smack ‘ead: Listen I get this train all the time!! If the next stop is Bebbington you owe me ablow job!1 WHEN I WANT IT!!!

Girl smack ‘ead: Ur on!! Coz Im right!!! And if ur wrong you buy the Skol!!!

Train announcement :
“The next station is Bebbington”

Fella smack ‘ead: AHHHHHHH!! TOLD YA!!! I WANT MY BLOWJOB NOW!!!!

Luckily they got off so we didnt witness whether she stuck to her end of the bargain!!!

Gotta love public transport!!”

In the Empire Theatre

One musician to another:

“Remember, a dancer is just for Christmas not for life”

Post by Jay

Stunning blonde bird on a hen night walks in with all her mates all looking rather tasty.
I go to me Dad ‘Hey, you on the tall one at the front, she’s fucking stunning her!’ To which my Dad replies ‘Your right there lad, I’d walk 3 miles over broken glass to wank over her shadow’

Overheard by Alex

I heard some fella on his mobile phone in Town at the weekend.

‘Fuck that, I’m not going out with her, she’s got that fucking swine flu.’

Post by Markus

The Zanzibar Club.

‘I’ve got fifty quid to last me all week and I know I’m going to spend sixty tonight.’

Medical Term

Overheard on the bus.

1. ‘What’s twitters bridge?’

2. ‘It’s that bit between yer arse and yer balls.’

Announcement!

One of our neighbours was pissed-off with her husband.

She opened the back door and shouted ‘Brian is a nob, everybody, Brian is total fucking nob.’

In Work

The boss catches his secretary using Twitter during office hours.

Boss in his best sarcastic tone; “You social noworking again?”