In the classroom
Classroom of kids.
Lad to girl: ‘You take it up the arse.’
Teacher: ‘Get out of this classroom now.’
2nd Lad: ‘That was naughty wasn’t it, Miss?’
Teacher: ‘Yes it was.’
2nd Lad: ‘He should’ve said “up the bum” shouldn’t he, Miss?’
Overheard by Ryan
There was this band testing their equipment in our local pub.
An auld wino starts shouting ‘One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two. It’s always one-fuckin-two, yer bastards.
Classic
In my mates house a few years ago, but still makes me laugh.
‘D’yer think I could get on Pop Idol, Dad?’
‘Nah, lad, yer might get on bone idle.’
Tango’d
Two kids discussing which drink they should buy in a local newsagents.
‘I’m not getting Tango, it makes yer go orange.’
Overheard by liam
Lad on his way to the toilet.
‘I’ll see yer in a minute, I’m just going for a hit and miss.’
Overheard by Nathan
A girl talking to her friend about why she was not going to see her gran:
“Cos it’s pure two buses, la”
Special Spiders
I caught this snippet walking past two girls about 15 years-old on Church St.
‘I fucking hate spiders, especially the bathroom ones.’
