In the classroom

Classroom of kids.

Lad to girl: ‘You take it up the arse.’

Teacher: ‘Get out of this classroom now.’

2nd Lad: ‘That was naughty wasn’t it, Miss?’

Teacher: ‘Yes it was.’

2nd Lad: ‘He should’ve said “up the bum” shouldn’t he, Miss?’

Overheard by Ryan

There was this band testing their equipment in our local pub.

An auld wino starts shouting ‘One, two, one, two, one, two, one, two. It’s always one-fuckin-two, yer bastards.

Classic

In my mates house a few years ago, but still makes me laugh.

‘D’yer think I could get on Pop Idol, Dad?’

‘Nah, lad, yer might get on bone idle.’

Tango’d

Two kids discussing which drink they should buy in a local newsagents.

‘I’m not getting Tango, it makes yer go orange.’

Overheard by liam

Lad on his way to the toilet.

‘I’ll see yer in a minute, I’m just going for a hit and miss.’

430-curlers

In the Ship & Mitre

Two lads at the bar.

1: I’ve just upset that girl.
2: Why?
1: I spoke to her.

Achtung!

Overheard on New Brighton beach:

‘Get yer hands off me STD’s’

Overheard by Nathan

A girl talking to her friend about why she was not going to see her gran:

“Cos it’s pure two buses, la”

Special Spiders

I caught this snippet walking past two girls about 15 years-old on Church St.

‘I fucking hate spiders, especially the bathroom ones.’