Love Story?
Showcase cinema on East Lancs Road.
Film just started.
‘Get yer hands off me tits, now!’
GrowTube
Two lads speaking on the 82 bus.
1. ‘I saw this video last night on YouTube that showed yer how to grow skunk.’
2. ‘It’s fucking boss that YouTube.’
Overheard by Darren
Last night in a Chinese restaurant. Very pissed group of lads.
Waiter: ‘What do you want?’
Lad: ‘Just a kebab, lad, and a pint of lager.’
Waiter: ‘No kebab, no kebab. Only Chinese.
Lad: ‘Can yer do us a Chinese kebab?’
Post by Sue
Teacher trying to locate an MP3 on a laptop.
Young Lad: ‘In your time, Miss, it used to be CD’s didn’t it?’
Teacher (laughing): ‘Are CD’s over now?’
Yound lad: ‘Yeah, well-over, Miss.’
Port of Liverpool Building
Coming out of a pointless meeting the other day.
1. ‘What did you get from that?’
2. ‘A glass of water, and a pen.’
Classic Profanities
A mate of mine recently told me that Paul McCartney says ‘Fucking hell’ on the song ‘Hey Jude.’
I checked it out and he was right. It occurs at approximately 3.00 minutes - ‘Remember, to let her under your skin, then you begin, Oh, (”Fucking hell”).’
Apparently, Lennon suggested it should remain.
Post by Tom
At Ye Crack pub, on a Sunday afternoon:
Woman: ‘What can I have for dessert?’
Chef: Apple crumble and custard, or custard and Apple Crumble. Take your pick.
More car sales
A car salesman wanted to broker a deal and needed confirmation from his boss.
Boss: ‘How much is the trade-in worth?’
Salesman: ‘Well, it’s got a full tank of gas.’
Overheard In the Green Room
Two musicians talking in the green room.
1. Tel yer what, man. Whoever decided to put the fridge in the dancers changing room deserves a medal.
2. Stroke of genius.
