Overheard by Adam
Last week at a cafe in Bootle, I heard this at the table behind me.
1. ‘Christ, that’s a lot of cheese on that spud.’
2. ‘Yer can never have too much cheese though.’
1. ‘Except on yer nob.’
2. ‘Yeah, except on yer nob.’
Hard Rain’s Gonna Fall
Ellis Brigham store on Bold St.
Customer: Hey mate, are these jackets waterproof?
Sales guy: Yes they are.
Customer: Even if it’s pissing down?
Sales guy: Yes, even if it’s heavy rain.
Post by Liam
Outside Sayers.
1. There isn’t much cheese in these pasties.
2. Yeah, they should be called cheese-style pasties.
Overheard by Richo
Three middleaged women stood out side work having a cig, talking about tonight’s theatre show.
Woman A “what are we going to see”
Woman B “vagina monologues”
Woman A “what that about”
Woman C “fannys”
Overheard by Beckie
On the Liverpool to Chester train. 2 smack ‘eads get on at Lime Street, with cans of Skol Extra Strength!!
Girl smack ‘ead: Shit!!! Were on the wrong train!!
Fella smack ‘ead: No were not! Trust me! This train goes to Bebbington!!
Girl smack ‘ead: No it doesnt!!!
Fella smack ‘ead: Listen I get this train all the time!! If the next stop is Bebbington you owe me ablow job!1 WHEN I WANT IT!!!
Girl smack ‘ead: Ur on!! Coz Im right!!! And if ur wrong you buy the Skol!!!
Train announcement :
“The next station is Bebbington”
Fella smack ‘ead: AHHHHHHH!! TOLD YA!!! I WANT MY BLOWJOB NOW!!!!
Luckily they got off so we didnt witness whether she stuck to her end of the bargain!!!
Gotta love public transport!!”
In the Empire Theatre
One musician to another:
“Remember, a dancer is just for Christmas not for life”
Post by Jay
Stunning blonde bird on a hen night walks in with all her mates all looking rather tasty.
I go to me Dad ‘Hey, you on the tall one at the front, she’s fucking stunning her!’ To which my Dad replies ‘Your right there lad, I’d walk 3 miles over broken glass to wank over her shadow’
Overheard by Alex
I heard some fella on his mobile phone in Town at the weekend.
‘Fuck that, I’m not going out with her, she’s got that fucking swine flu.’
