The 14 Bus

I could hardly keep a straight face when these two school kids started on the 14 bus.

1. ‘You cry when yer ma doesn’t make yer bed.’

2. ‘Mate, you cry if yer ma doesn’t blow on yer chips.’

1. ‘Yer ma.’

2. ‘Yer nan.’

Overheard By Rebecca

Heard some young kids playing by ours the other night. One of them warned the others:

‘Don’t go near that house, there’s a smackhead lives there and he eats kids.’

Post by Amy

Me and my mate were talking about getting a tattoo, and I said I’d like a heart on my lower back. My mate said:

‘I’d get a tattoo on me arse but I couldn’t be doing with the tattooist perving me.’

Overheard by Dave

Two kids on the 10A bus:

1. ‘If they’d let yer have a spliff in school I’d go all the time.’

2. ‘I just don’t wanna go. Ever.’

Post by Hannah

Overheard these two girls talking in St. John’s market last week. I didn’t get all the story, but this reference was about her boyfriend.

‘…I was twenty minutes late and he had a face on him like a pit-bull sniffing shit.’

Post by Aimee

This happened about 2 years ago but it still amuses me…

I was getting out of a taxi on Smithdown, some kid comes up to me and says “Give me your wallet!”

Him being about 12 years old I laugh at him and tell him to “F**K off!”

Kid: “There’s no need to swear!”

In work

Fella having a right old go at female co-worker.

Fella: You can’t do that it’s just not on. If you wanna take if further your going to have go and see John.

Girl: Alright, alright, roll yer neck in.

Overheard by Courtney

Heard this at a car booty in Tranmere last week.

Some fella had two dolls on his stall and a woman asked him how much they were. The fella said:

‘The crying one’s a fiver, and the pissing one’s four quid.’