My wife was buying a turkey for Xmas from a butchers stall. He passed one across the counter & my wife noticed it had a leg missing. It’s only got one leg she said. Quick as a flash the butcher replied:
“What you gonna do with it love, eat it or dance with it”
Two old dears eating plates of Scouse:
“These carrots are a bit undercooked”.
“Yeah, and these spuds are harder than the bloody Kray Twins”.
Two lads waiting at the crossing, one turns to the other and says:
Yeah he’s been off a while, he’s had one of em sabbatical cysts removed.
Sitting on the bus heading into town. Group of lads at the back of bus bantering…
Lad 1: ‘Yer al fella has got a fuckin beard like Moses.’
Lad 2: ‘Fuck off you preaching twat. . tell ya what, why don’t you suck a fart out of me arse with a maccies straw.’
Listen in to Radio Merseyside on Wednesday November 4th 2.30pm. Interview about Overheard In Liverpool.com and how it all began.
Overheard in the Kop…
“Rafa takes Benayoun off because he’s tired…Why is Lucas never tired….????”
Regarding the recent scheme on Merseyside to crack down on underage teenagers drinking on the streets…
Newsbeat reporter: ‘Now, Tom’s just been given £5 by his mum, what are you going to spend it on?
Tom: ‘Cider probably.’
Newsbeat reporter: ‘How are you going to buy it?’
Tom: ‘I’ll just get a smackhead to go in and get it for us!’
A small lad was getting dragged out of the bar after trying to fight with some stocky lad. Once outside the small lad shouts in a deep voice, ‘That’s it lad, yer gettin yer ed smashed in!’:
Stocky lad shouts back ‘Jus wait lad, I’ll find you on Facebook t’mora!’
Three lads sat at computer desk in Central Library.
Two of the lads pissing themselves laughing.
Third lad: “what! what’s so f*in’ funny?”
Two Lads: “it’s GOOGLE not GOGGLE yer dickhead”
Tho’ looking at them I reckon goggle was more apt.
