Overheard by Adam
One smackhead says to the other…
“I said to him, EH! DICKHEAD! TOUCH HER AGAIN AND I’LL SLIT YOUR F***ING THROAT!”
The look on the faces of the American tourists standing nearby was PRICELESS.
Overheard by Laura
The worst and funniest thing I have ever heard…
Full on scally smoking a spliff by the fiveways, a pretty looking girl walks past and he whistles. She ignores him, so he says ”Hey girl.” She replies ”What?” He says……..”Get ya rat out ya little slut.”
LOL
Overheard by Sam
The serenity of a sunny Friday afternoon in work is shattered by a screeching alarm. The whole office stops, trying to figure out what kind of car could possibly be making that sound (turns out it was a Securicor van shouting for someone to call the police, which was wholly ignored as the office workers lining the street chose to hang out the windows and gawp) and someone goes, just as the office falls silent:
“What the hell is that? It sounds like a seagull being raped.”
Overheard by Michael
On me break in ASDA, 2 managers approach the vending machine…
Manager1. ‘What are you having?’
Manager2. ‘Dunno, have they got any low-fat crisps?’
Manager1. ‘No.’
Manager2. I’ll have a Turkish Delight then.’
Overheard by Laura
Overheard in Garston library. Two young scally boys sat on the computer next to me, seem really intrigued by what they’re looking at…
Boy 1- “Just Google him!”
Boy 2- “I don’t know how to spell his name.”
Boy 1- “You don’t know how to spell JESUS?!”
Overheard by Hannah
Man having extremely loud phone convo on the 060 to Leeds…
“I’m heading back toward Manchester now. Some people on this coach seem to be heading for Leeds, which is not a place I can think of any reason to go…”
Post by Alice
‘Babe, what do you wanna be when you get older’?
6 year-old girl: ‘Erm, 16 I think.’
ha ha ha ha, my little girl xxxx awwwwwwwwwww
Overheard by Louise
On a flight from Liverpool…
Passenger: ‘Can I have a red wine please?’
Air hostess: ‘Yes, would you like ice with that?’
Also from the same air hostess…
‘I’m going on holiday to Portugal - I wish I spoke Spanish.’
And…
‘What’s that?’ (Looking at a Scottish twenty pound note) ‘Do we accept it, and what’s the exchange rate?’
