Overheard by Abi
was walking through town and a lad shouted “ay girl get ya snickers off”
Overheard by Paul
Went to see the physio yesterday and asked him how many people worked there.
He said ‘about half of us.’
Nearly did me fuckin’ back in again.
Overheard by Danny
13 year-old boy goes to the counter at Maccies and says to a girl on the counter ‘gis ye number.’
Girl’s friend says ‘don’t think so mate.’
Young boy says ‘I wern’t asking you u ugly bastard.’
lol 
Overheard By Paul
“He got his bell end caught in a garden roller” shit what happened ed?:
“Nothin it just squeezed it” funniest quote I’ve heard someones dad say in ages.
Overheard By John
While going for the paper I saw an oldish lady struggling on the ice and she said to me they should have all the doleys out with shovels clearing the ice up instead of sitting on their arses.
Overheard By Pete
A friend who doesn’t come from Liverpool goes on a night out in beige chinos, random 16 year old comes up to him and says:
“Beige? beige?!? you’re wearin fuckin’ beige?! You’re either a medic or a tory….you twat”
Overheard By Pete
Two porters talking to one another, one is fuming:
“What do ya mean you’ve never ‘ad a ham an cheese toasty? What sorta fuckin scouser are ya!?”
Overheard by Matt
Walking past four lads with my girlfriend, one turned round and said
“aye lad, I smashed your bird up the shitter”
