Archive by Author

Overheard By Nat

I was getting some bread from a shop in Anfield when the girl behind the counter was on her mobile.
All I heard was “girl I swear I can’t bare not avin sex any longer, I might go get meself a f**k buddie with a big thick cock cos my fanny’s saggy to f**k after pushing dat fat headed bastard out of it”

Da girl on the phone starts laughing then says ‘girl init, I mean it’s not my fault me fella got done for stabbing dat lad up da arse is it?

Only in Liverpool would you hear that while out getting bread. Love it

Overheard By Bill

An argument in the crown pub the other night between a scouse guy and an irish girl caused a pub wide argument of who’s the scousest.

Man 1 - I was born in Huyton
Man 2 - I’m from L1!
Man 3 - Ey lad, I was born on the Liverbirds!

Overheard by Neil

On the bus in Kirkby I heard two young kids ripping into each other…

Kid #1: “Your ma’s a slag and she shops in Netto”
Kid #2: “Me ma doesn’t shop in Netto!!!”

Overheard By Kevin

On the Kirkby train to town. It stops at Kirkdale and a teenage girl gets on while talking on her phone. After a few moments she interupts her friend on the phone and says:
“awwh my god, I swear down, swear down, swear down, this haz gorra be the Kirkby train cos it fuckin stinks!”

Overheard by Gemma

In work one staff member saying to a customer…

“Haven’t we had loads of full moons lately?  It’s all down to global warming.”

The customer nodding in agreement

Overheard by Andy

Two middle aged women walking down Dale Street…
MAW #1 - Shall we go and give blood?
MAW #2 - yer wha?
MAW #1 - I’d be two pounds lighter when I get weighed tonight

Overheard By Sarah

Homeless man in town facing radio city sitting on cardboard playin the flute:

Me: look at him playing the flute in the cold
Brother: yeah but if he doesnt blow on that for money he will have to blow on sumthin else”!!

Overheard By Rach

“am waitin for me mate to bring me some weed, bet he’s sittin in the bogs somewhere gettin a suck off some heffer. am not messin, dat bird’s like a moose. she’ll just be mooin’ while she does it”

:’) Oh how I love Liverpool <3

St Johns Tower Liverpool

Overheard By Megan

I was in town and there was some smack’eds eating butter, and a few minutes later, 2 of them were arguing and all you heard was “YE WERNT SAYEN THA LAST NITE WHEN I SHAVED ME FANNY FOR YE”

And about 20 minutes later the police came on horses, and the smack’ed eating butter was stroking the horse and called the horse butters!