In Cineworld last Friday with my two young daughters to see Alice in Wonderland when some scruffy little goth/emo kid drops her bag on the floor.
The litre bottle of cheap cider she was trying to sneak into the film smashed and went all over the place soaking hers and her mate’s shoes.
My thirteen year old daughter just tutted looked at me and said “what a knob jockey”
I had to laugh!
My friend just said to me:
“I just ate noodles after 12, why havent I turned into a gremlin?”
ACE!
Me and my best friend were at Creamfields last summer watching Calvin Harris - who’s Scottish and he started throwing Scotland flags into the audience…
I said to my mate “Lets get a flag!”
Mate: “Nah”
Me: “Why?”
Mate: “I dont want a Swedish flag”
great!
On the 10A in Huyton.
Girl#1:What’s the difference between a lettuce and a cabbage?
Girl#2:Go on, what?
Girl#1:No, it’s not a joke. What’s the difference?
Girl#2:*Laughs hysterically* Ermm, I don’t know.
Overheard at St. Johns bus station
Guy #1: Yeh mate, the number 10 goes to St. Helens
Guy #2: How’da Fuck does it get to America?
just outside the odeon switch island last night two teen girls about 16
girl 1 “isn’t good friday on a wednesday this year?”
girl 2 “NO! its not that early. Isn’t it on the bank holiday monday”
God help us all
Was on the 15 bus coming home from the Liverpool - Tottenham match the other day. The bus was chocka and I heard this lad say to his mate “Rrr ay lad smells like you’ve shit ya fukin Calvins dere”
The whole bus just exploded with laughter. Then after everyone had calmed down the lad shouts “dunno what yas are fukin laffin for wait until it drifts down your ways!”
Comedy at its peak.
Working in town a few years ago and giving the young glass lad loads, he turned to us and said:
“You THREE are a PAIR of dickheads!”
Priceless
Just caught the end of this conversation…
“…and that was the second time a dog bit my baby.”
