Was shopping in Asda when the greeter said over the tannoy:
“Can the driver of the vehicle registration R2D2CP30 please move as it is causing an obstruction”.
The shop was in stitches.Especially when she was asked to repeat it again 5 mins later. She didn’t have a clue.
Whilst buying some sweet from my local shop I heard a girl, who was browsing through some of the magazines, pipe up with:
“EEEEEEE as if she said no to 50 cent in bed!”
Was outside Anfield towards the end of last season and heard just this outside the Liverpool Superstore -
Scally 1: “Lads, look at the bobble hat on DAT.”
Scally 2: “FUKKKKKKK’N bobble.”
A traffic warden is writing a ticket for a sports car on double yellows outside Piccolinos in town. Some scally (obviously the owner) in a ’smart’ trakky yells -
“Ee ya mate, you’re not a proper Scouser aar yer? You’re just an ARRL ARSE”.
In Mikey today, Daughter to mother:
‘Mum, this is all the sale stuff, there is 50% off!’ Mum ‘oh’ Daughter ‘Whats 50% off £10 mum?’
I was walkin around town the other day when I heard 3 lads talkin.
Lad 1 “U bin hittin the gym ther laa, ya lookin quite big”
Lad 2 “Yer laaa in the gym every day, munchin protein an all tha”
Lad 3 “Ya fuckin jokin me rnt ya lid uve defo been on tha 107.6″
Lad 2 “107.6???”
Lad 3 “Juice laaa”
Just in the post office this morning sending some parcels, lad in front of me says “can I have 65 quid out in pound coins” To which the woman replied, “no sorry love, we’ve only got enough in for the day, if its for a business we can order extra in for you…we do all the shops in the village and the taxi drivers”
“Erm no love …its ter purrin der fruit machines
My Mate Dean is South African, he was sent on a Job in Liverpool and parked his van near The Rocket in Stoneycroft. Some lads hanging around came over to him and said “eh mate, dyawannus to mind yer van like for a fiver?”
Dean said “no it’s ok I’ve got my dog in the back”. To which the lads responded “Is e any good at puttin’ fires out?”. Dean Paid the fiver.
I was in Asda in the Old Roan at Christmas. We were queuing up to buy some DVDs for my wife’s brother. Some lads behind us piped up “Eh ‘ave yuze seen that film The Grudge?” His mate turns round and goes :
“No, I’ve seen the Grinch, bur I aven’t seen the Grudge”… Priceless
Walking down seal street and a group of slightly drunken men walk up and turn round the corner, one says to the others:
“Whys that called cube? Its clearly round”
