Me and my best friend were at Creamfields last summer watching Calvin Harris - who’s Scottish and he started throwing Scotland flags into the audience…
I said to my mate “Lets get a flag!”
Mate: “Nah”
Me: “Why?”
Mate: “I dont want a Swedish flag”
great!
On the 10A in Huyton.
Girl#1:What’s the difference between a lettuce and a cabbage?
Girl#2:Go on, what?
Girl#1:No, it’s not a joke. What’s the difference?
Girl#2:*Laughs hysterically* Ermm, I don’t know.
Overheard at St. Johns bus station
Guy #1: Yeh mate, the number 10 goes to St. Helens
Guy #2: How’da Fuck does it get to America?
just outside the odeon switch island last night two teen girls about 16
girl 1 “isn’t good friday on a wednesday this year?”
girl 2 “NO! its not that early. Isn’t it on the bank holiday monday”
God help us all
Was on the 15 bus coming home from the Liverpool - Tottenham match the other day. The bus was chocka and I heard this lad say to his mate “Rrr ay lad smells like you’ve shit ya fukin Calvins dere”
The whole bus just exploded with laughter. Then after everyone had calmed down the lad shouts “dunno what yas are fukin laffin for wait until it drifts down your ways!”
Comedy at its peak.
Working in town a few years ago and giving the young glass lad loads, he turned to us and said:
“You THREE are a PAIR of dickheads!”
Priceless
Just caught the end of this conversation…
“…and that was the second time a dog bit my baby.”
I was getting some bread from a shop in Anfield when the girl behind the counter was on her mobile.
All I heard was “girl I swear I can’t bare not avin sex any longer, I might go get meself a f**k buddie with a big thick cock cos my fanny’s saggy to f**k after pushing dat fat headed bastard out of it”
Da girl on the phone starts laughing then says ‘girl init, I mean it’s not my fault me fella got done for stabbing dat lad up da arse is it?
Only in Liverpool would you hear that while out getting bread. Love it
An argument in the crown pub the other night between a scouse guy and an irish girl caused a pub wide argument of who’s the scousest.
Man 1 - I was born in Huyton
Man 2 - I’m from L1!
Man 3 - Ey lad, I was born on the Liverbirds!
