Overheard In Liverpool Vol One Available Now

We’ve picked the best of the best comments and they’re all here in one fun-filled volume. Get a copy for yourself, brother, Dad, sister, friend, aunty or uncle , but DON’T get a copy for yer Ma:-)

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Overheard by Dan

Builder number1: ‘…and then I put that chicken in the fuckin’ BASKET!’

Builder number2: ‘…aaaaargh LAD!’

Overheard by Matt

I’d just ended my run which finishes up quite a large hill. Absolutely shattered I stopped put my hands on my knees and was gasping for breath.

2 old dears walking past “ere lad do you wanna borrow me inhaler”

Post by Steve

I asked my mate who lives in the town centre to drop some stuff into Radio City…

Me: ‘Did you drop that promotional material into Radio City?

Him: ‘I couldn’t remember where it was.’

Me: ‘See that huge building about four-hundred feet tall, the one with ‘Radio City’ in huge fucking lights? It’s that one.’

Overheard by Christian

Twenty something Mum says to her daughter, who’s about 6:

“What d’ya wan fer lunch? Do ya’s wan a Maccy D’s or an ice cream? Or d’ya want both?”

I didn’t hear the daughter’s response but…

Overheard By Dave

Daft work associate watching a pigeon fly past the window then land on the ledge (we worked on the 24th floor):

Fuck me how did that thing get up there? I was in bulk laughing….

Overheard By Paul

I told this woman she was wearing the wrong size bra. I knew this, as I used to be a bra fitter at Harrods for many years and I would be able to tell her exact bra size if I was allowed to check around her breasts, to feel where it didn’t fit right. To show good faith I put two quid on the bar and told her that if I didn’t get her size exactly right she could keep it. After a bit more reassurance she agreed to let me try, so I got to work on her ample bosom. After a few minutes she asked:

“Well, what size am I then???” to which I replied, “Keep yer fuckin’ two pound!”

Overheard by a load of fellas, trying desperately not to piss themselves laughing while all this was going on. Can’t believe I got away with it.

Overheard By Derek

My wife was buying a turkey for Xmas from a butchers stall. He passed one across the counter & my wife noticed it had a leg missing. It’s only got one leg she said. Quick as a flash the butcher replied:

“What you gonna do with it love, eat it or dance with it”

Overheard By Donald

Two old dears eating plates of Scouse:

“These carrots are a bit undercooked”.
“Yeah, and these spuds are harder than the bloody Kray Twins”.

Overheard By Jude

Two lads waiting at the crossing, one turns to the other and says:

Yeah he’s been off a while, he’s had one of em sabbatical cysts removed.